The last time I head a song in my head like this it was last year, after I threw up in gym. I could have sworn to god that I heard one. In the nurse's office. Its nice and also like kinda very strange. In history today I head the beat of mockingbird in my head. I had to look at my phone a few times because I thought it was playing. And well I saw two people? But *sigh* no. No,no,no. Its all on me. I wanted them to be real. It honestly scared me. Maybe it was just that I wanted someone to be there so *sigh* no. This can't happen. It dosent. Like the time I saw or thought I saw someone in the chair in the living room. Its all on me. I must get a grip. Good morning I guess people. Its 12:03. Because of my "short nap" im not too tired. But I must fall soon. Hell I shouldn't have been up at 11. That's too late. We'll it is normal for me but im too sleepy the next morning. Im trying to change that.my gear for tomorrow is set on the chair in my room. (I never sat in it). I do. I can feel the water works turning on and I don't want them. Not now. I must be strong right? Father is really nervous about the superbowl. Im not. Im excited. He says not every team gets a shot at this. Hell this is arz's first superbowl appearence. While we on the other had have been there six times. And won five. Passing the old movie theater on my way tob see jen makes my blood feel thin. Weightless. I remmeber a night were it was just me, my partner and amy. We. I remember. And then they left. And I was soo happy. My mother was very late getting to me. I sat outside in the snow :]. I wish a random stranger could have taken a picture of me. It woulda been nice. My mate... that one touched me. its not the same without you. Whenever I write here " today could have been one of those days" what I mean by that is that that day felt like it could have been one of those days that you'd come over and we'd just enjoy one an others company. Like before. Time would sore past us, as if it rode the wings of an eagal. The rides to drop one an other off always sucked. I'd miss you. Is letting one roll down my cheek disapointing? Just one kitt... I remember everything little one. Everything good. Its just so crazy how its almost beed a 1/3 of a year. I miss telling you everything and anything. I miss just everything. Never alone. Yeah. That's the way to think. I feel like I'd stumble over my words if I were to try and explain. Well im going to bed. Well im already here, ugh lol you get what I mean. Try to fall asleep now. *hugs so you that my chin is rested on the top of your head, closes eyes and hopes you get the message in my head* angelboy over and out