\

angelboy here, i think i fell a headache coming on. gr, but oh well. im not gonna lie, i lost my cool. im nervous about tomorrow. wanna know something kinda cool? the kids in kpittsburgh get a two hour delay monday, because of the superbowl. oh and congrats rod woodson =D. he made it into the class of 09 hall of fame. the sun is starting to go down? jen and her friends are going to ad's at six for her little party type thing. darn, stupid cold shivers. *whisles* 1246 pictures on my photobucket thingyy. i havent scene mi tia or tio since before christmas. roy and cita are in dallas right now visting rita, joe and the kids. i like cita' and rita's names. but in english i'd take any the prettyness i think. i hope theres a good movie on tonight. i know my fave part of quedate by heart. brad wanted to me go to mt snow with him and david to snowboard but i cant answer him untill after the superbowl. =/ that kinda sucks. i mean i love snowboarding now but i love my steelers. i think its an easy pick but still. sucks ya know? i hope you and em have a good time today. wells i think imma go now, angelboy over and out (evol)

angelboy here, reporting from the ghetto. Well we're on our way out but yea we went to c town to get the usual and well the ice cream place across the street. I kinda just stood there and look at it but then father said what's your problem? Lets go. I member. I had a blast yesterday at ski club and rene picked it up fast. Reminds me of the dream I had a few nights ago. Ughhh, father is bitching about me not talking because im on the stupid phone so angelboy over and out.

I believe that dreams are sacred.
Take my darkest fears and play them
Like a lullaby,
Like a reason why,
Like a play of my obsessions,
Make me understand the lesson,
So I'll find myself,
So I won't be lost again.

Dear Mr. Pan,
You suck :]

this so dosent make me happy

Everyone in the Cardinals organization, from the head coach down to the practice squad players, has been very careful not to give the Steelers any bulletin-board material this week. If they've mentioned the Steelers at all, it's been only to talk about their great respect for them.

That's not by accident, either. They're being deliberately careful not to provoke the Steelers, and so far, they haven't. And that's why I'm guessing that Ken Whisenhunt would like to strangle Phoenix mayor Phil Gordon today.

Mayor Gordon and Big Red, the Cardinals mascot, held up a Terrible Towel at a rally yesterday, and Big Red used it to wipe his armpits. He then gave the towel to the mayor, who pretended to blow his nose on it, and then threw it on the ground. You can see footage of the towel desecreation here.

If you think the Steelers are above getting mad over such a petty little thing, you'd be mistaken. After the Titans beat the Steelers earlier in the season, a few Titans players stomped on a Terrible Towel. And even later in the playoffs, after the Titans lost a game that would've set up a rematch with the Steelers, linebacker Larry Foote was still harping on it.

"That's what they get for trying to humiliate us and rub it in, for not showing any class," Pittsburgh linebacker Larry Foote said. "We wanted to play them again, but they couldn't hold up their end of the bargain. That's what they get for stomping on the towel. We're stepping on them right now."

As dumb as this stuff might seem to you or me, it really does make a difference to some players. Being "disrespected" makes players angry. Anger, even if it stems from something trivial and childish, can motivate a guy in a way that even winning can't. Anger works.

For his part, the mayor has apologized, saying, "At no time did anyone intend, in any way, to offend the Steelers organization and their many fans, supporters and traditions." So I guess the mayor sees it as an honor for an object to be bathed in his snot. I'll be honest with you: I'd vote for a guy with such holy snot.

Keep checking Shutdown Corner throughout the week, and we'll keep you apprised of any further developments with Mayor Gordon's snot.

morning blog, was i heard the other day? freaky. i didn't get one, i got three. (dreams) i kinda well nvm but i guess I'm gonna start believing more? well its 8:30. ouch.... how many days has it been since last glance? i lost count *sigh*. jen says every time we have a snow day we have a delay and i never really noticed that but she's right. this whole week hasnt felt real. why? i have the right amount, kind of wonder now. feels great. what i said to john the other day is on my mind. how when my body shakes and my heart shifts up a few gears how i have to remind myself to breath and breath deep and ground myself. where'd time go? will the feeling of time being slow and painful like nails on a chalkboard come back? i hope not. i wonder if they asked about me. the three of them. who knows maybe right? things like where is he? can he clime the tree in the front yard with me again? or maybe something like can i cling onto his leg while he walks? or maybe when, can i get on his shoulders so i can be super tall? *smiles* angelboy over and out

8:36. Thinking of my "lost" cousin.everything is ice out there. I wouldn't wanna drive with the way the roads are now. Accident waiting to happen. im needed again on friday. So I won be there th last two classes. I can't miss tooo much though. Or im screwed. Just had a cold chill crawl down my spine. Those always suckk. Jen and I didn't have to much to talk about this past tuesday. Im always after alisha (I can't spell) brad's ex mate. She kinda kicked my leg on her way out passing me. In my head I thought "hello to you too" :] im lamee. Listening to ne-yo. So sick. Looking at the lego batmobile, my football lame that I never use, my toy story looking lame and my scarface poster with a batman logo cover tony's face. Imma out, sleepyy,, angelboy over and out

7:15. I left joe's at six. I got really bored real fast placing some game joey had. All he did was screw around with windows 7 really. Well not really but ugh. Nvm. From what we watched of step brothers it was very funny :]. We tryed to make pan cakes but that didn't workout too good.ireally wanna rub my eyes buti well remember.im saying well too much O_x. Im not really up to much at the moment. Laying in mother's bed and watching viva la bam. Mini mi and mother are in the living room and jen is listening to music in her room. I can hear it from here. Read my mind? Angelboy over and out

Morning blog and happy 16th birthday jen =], hope you enjoy this day off little one. Angelboy over and out

Tonight im playing it safe, wouldn't want to the take the risk of waking you. I know how busy you must be, so you need your rest. Sleep well dear. Cover up and maybe cross your fingers and hope there's no school tomorrow? I wish you could see the pictures in my head. Can you hear me? See me? Feel me? are you seeing me now? (I wonder) angelboy over and out (<3)

What is his problem? I got well lets say unhappy with him when he said " what the fuck do you want?" when brian asked him what's up. Or maybe that not what he said but he didn't have to say in that sentence when brian was just trying to be friendly. I looked for her today but I coudlnt find her. Amy said she wasn't on the bus. Is everything okay little one? Im so sorry that I missed your call last night =(. I was asleep. Had a long day helping mother out with mini mi. I hope your okay and truely very happy. Bryan over and out (<3)

Ahahahahahahhahahahaha =p that's was some funny shi..... kays well mini me starting slippin out when mother had to get this thing off her foot. And I walked the halls with him and boucned him up and down in my arms untill he crashed and a had I guess a good handful of people come up, say how cute he is and this and that. And well now im 1000% convinced that he looks like me. Everyone told me that. The size of our eyes the way our faces are and our noses are the same. Said he was me just on a way smaller scale. Well anywho two ladies were like he looks justttt like you, is he yours? O_x I was like no no no no no no no, he's my brother. Lmao though. I don't look old enough to be his father? Or do I? Nawww don't answer that. Lol. I cansay that fast, no and yes. Like really fast. Remember? Well duty calls, angelboy over and out (<3)

Wanna know something kinda a little bit cool? Heroes won outstanding perforance by a stunt ensemble in a tv series. Yesterday at the screen actors guild awards. Not sure what what means really =) but still its nice to know heroes won somethinggg. Angelboy over and out

I came out here to tell you that it rains in heaven all day. And I wanna find you so bad to tell you that....

The new hair bugs me, I keep wanting to movie it by doing the classic hair flip but its too short for that and I'd look silly if I did. Today was a normal day I guess? What we did was go to ad's to help set up posters and streamers and the fish net in the bar so that if we win we can let some of the 288 black and gold balloons fall :]. Ballons get blown up on saturday day tho. Then we went to the west farms mall to get a wall chrager for the mistake and then well that's kinda it I gue... wait! There was a bat in my basement. Shit was crazyyyyy, father called pete to get it out lmao. He grabed it with his hands like it were nothinnnn. O_x. Play a gussing game with me? Just this once? Three words. Angelboy over and out

uoy fo maerd llits i

Mornin blog, I was sleeppy on the bus back, I took the hardest falls yesterday and boyy can I feel them still. But im way better now. I can make it down big ben and the bunny hill. Todd's treat is a snowboarder's nightmare if one of your pal's fall. Its a must to get over the first hill without feeling. Because unlike skiers, we don't have those poles. I wish... well father just went to drop off jen for some thingy at her school. mini me is sleeping and so is mother. Max was the only one who didn't show up last night. Ohs, remind me to clean my room later. Wells im gonna get ready to go do stuff with my dad I guess, pay the guys and what not. Angelboy over and out

The last time I head a song in my head like this it was last year, after I threw up in gym. I could have sworn to god that I heard one. In the nurse's office. Its nice and also like kinda very strange. In history today I head the beat of mockingbird in my head. I had to look at my phone a few times because I thought it was playing. And well I saw two people? But *sigh* no. No,no,no. Its all on me. I wanted them to be real. It honestly scared me. Maybe it was just that I wanted someone to be there so *sigh* no. This can't happen. It dosent. Like the time I saw or thought I saw someone in the chair in the living room. Its all on me. I must get a grip. Good morning I guess people. Its 12:03. Because of my "short nap" im not too tired. But I must fall soon. Hell I shouldn't have been up at 11. That's too late. We'll it is normal for me but im too sleepy the next morning. Im trying to change that.my gear for tomorrow is set on the chair in my room. (I never sat in it). I do. I can feel the water works turning on and I don't want them. Not now. I must be strong right? Father is really nervous about the superbowl. Im not. Im excited. He says not every team gets a shot at this. Hell this is arz's first superbowl appearence. While we on the other had have been there six times. And won five. Passing the old movie theater on my way tob see jen makes my blood feel thin. Weightless. I remmeber a night were it was just me, my partner and amy. We. I remember. And then they left. And I was soo happy. My mother was very late getting to me. I sat outside in the snow :]. I wish a random stranger could have taken a picture of me. It woulda been nice. My mate... that one touched me. its not the same without you. Whenever I write here " today could have been one of those days" what I mean by that is that that day felt like it could have been one of those days that you'd come over and we'd just enjoy one an others company. Like before. Time would sore past us, as if it rode the wings of an eagal. The rides to drop one an other off always sucked. I'd miss you. Is letting one roll down my cheek disapointing? Just one kitt... I remember everything little one. Everything good. Its just so crazy how its almost beed a 1/3 of a year. I miss telling you everything and anything. I miss just everything. Never alone. Yeah. That's the way to think. I feel like I'd stumble over my words if I were to try and explain. Well im going to bed. Well im already here, ugh lol you get what I mean. Try to fall asleep now. *hugs so you that my chin is rested on the top of your head, closes eyes and hopes you get the message in my head* angelboy over and out

I remember it, it was 8:40 and I was sleepy and in bed. Thought I'd take a shortttnap and wake at 9 but no. I woke at 11;10 =(. And I thought my eyes were lying to me but nope so I jumped in the shower. I hope it'll be okay. Please, just this one time please... amgelboy over and out (I wonder)

just a second longer?...
=/ i had my second nose bleed of the day a few minutes ago. they suckk. im so stupid. i bet a freaked him out. ugh, i can only blame myself. god dammit bryan, yeah i am. im the stupidest boy in the world sometimes. i changed into my con shirt and my eyes are still being drawn to the shirt i wore to school. so bright. that's a way to be noticed tho. ughhh i should have thought. those moments where i dont screw me over. ughhhhh, be smarter next ime bry.... (i wonder)

to anyone to still maybe reads this,
just got back from joey's crib. we did some serious work on those zombie bitchss =D mini me is sleeping on mother. mother made my fave chocolate drink. not hot coco, guess its a mexican thing? dphoto was really boring. like (realllyy) O_x. i think i already said this..... *holds hand out* maybe i too can show you more than i can tell you, angelboy over and out

Gym is well not much fun, max is in my class though. I can see myself going to him as partners and what not. Lalalalallalalla, guess im in a good mood :] mini me is always freaking out, crying (always). It sucks waking up to that in the morning. Imma go to joe's crib soon. Angelboy over and out

just a silly boy, thinking silly thoughts. Imma sore? Idks but imma bundle up like mi brother and sleep the night away. Lol or shall I dance instead? Angelboy over and out, wait want to know somthing funny? Kurt warner's number is 13 and ben's is 7. Guess it was ment to be? *closes eyes* guess this didn't post? Im so sleepy =( and I went to bed at my normal time 11. This sucks so much. And I still have to show up early to go to vann and see what my new classes are I guess. *sigh* today I see jen at seven.she'd be proud of me. For yesterday. Wells im gonna go like wash my face with cold water or something? Idks *yawn* angelboy over and out

Yellooooo :] so yeah I so didn't know we had today free I feel stupid. That's what amy ment by her and tennessee on monday. Wow me. Linds bailed on jen last second so now imma go with jen to the soup kitchen. Maybe this is wht I need. Idks. Im not sure. Wells time to get ready. Angelboy over and outt (<3)

Ask me who's going to the superbowl super babyy! =p my beloved steelers vs kurt warner's birds. Hahahahha and they said we can't beat the same team three times. So yeahhh we DID. =D <3333333333333 so happy right now (***)

I can't stop it from playing in mi head blog, ohs and the arz is looking good right now. Like I think we'll be playing them if we win tonight. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. Kays now im okay. Angelboy over and out <3

Morning blog, I went to bed early last night. Like at around 10:24ish? And then I woke to the sound of my brother's cry =/. Its snowing. Today dosent feel like sunday? Are they panic attacks? When my body shakes and my heart races? And my breathing heavy? Im not sure. I need to leave and sit down and beath for a few minuites when it happens. I don't mean to leave without saying goodbye but it dosent feel good. At all. And I don't have too much control over it. I wonder what time jen got home. I fell alseep before she came back. Rollerblading I believe. And she didn't know how. I bet it was like learning how to snowboard all over again. Well not really but I bet she fell on her butt a lot. I feel peaceful again. Lol like a monk. Well imma try to catch a car ride with father. Angelboy over and out <3

Hey, my brother is laying on me, head against my chest. Does he really look like me? I guess we do have the same nose, eye lashes and his eys are big and so are mine. He just sneezed on me lol. He makes the cutest sounds. I hear flordia got some really cold air like us too. Whoa, I hit the jackpot, child's play is on :]...... wtf..... this isn't chucky.... grrrrrrrr. Oh and you know what is horrible? Batman the brave and the bold. Its a cartoon that's sooooo watered down for like four year old kids. And batman looks like the batman from the 50 and 60's. Kays well back to the drawing board. Angelboy over and out

Holy strawberrys batman! We're in a jammm. =D sorry I just hadddd to say that. Its only 1 degree outside O_x. Im in good mood and feels like today woulda been one of those days *kicks dirt* its kays though. *nods head* angelboy over and outtt <3

Morning blog, yesterday I went to bed too too early. Like amy was even up O_x. Like 10:17ish? Idks but that's early for me. Its 7:45 and the small amount of light in my room is making my eyes water. Jen spent the night at sam's. Im listening to starless and it reminds me of pac. Well I don't really know what to say so im just gonna leave and find something to do? Later

He's a month old now :]. Mother calls him her bunny. So I guess imma call him rabbit. Father carrys him like superman. He likes that =). He's always wearing a hat. (Always) mother says if he didn't he'd get sick? Idks but I always had a hat on and so did jen when we were little.today I hope to go over mi tia's. I miss her and mi tio manny. I can see the long scars on my legs =/.oh I gotta clean my room. I guess you can say I do that all the time.I didn't mean do, I really didn't. My heart has beating fast.... because :x *sigh* goodbye

Ohh damnn, there was aboutttt to be an intense fight in my class O_x this one dude freakedd outtt. I honestly thought these two were about to swing. Wells anywho, I failed.

This movie is baddasss =D

Morning blog, I didn't go to school today because I have the sniffles like badd, sneezing and I lost my voice. Why? I had it a little bit and like three hours after the voicemail things went down hill. But I bet its just a normal day withour me to her =(. Look little one..... flame on

That must be truly horrible.
how do you face someone who just asked
one thing of you and you fail? to keep him
alive, to watch his back. he died for him.
a song today made me cry heart out. it felt nice.
its like i needed it. i was starting to feel less human.
i can still remember back to a time where i thought i was nothing
more than a shell of a person, who has never meant to be. i remember.
but i almost remember extraordinary things. to a time with so much.
i can feel them build up me eyes. forgive me. but i must go. angelboy out

singings makes me happy loves.
sing with me? for just one song?

I can still see the light
at the end of the tunnel shine
through the dark times
even when I lose my mind

But it feels like no one
in the world is listening
and I can't ever seem
to make the right decisions

I walk around in the same haze
I'm still caught in my same ways
I'm losing time in these strange days
but somehow I always know
the right things to say

I don't know what time it is
or who’s the one to blame for this
Do I believe what I can't see
And how do you know
which way the wind blows

That's it bry..... breath. Want to know something? Today on the way to school I was listening to anywhere by evanescense and I turned my phone off and turned on the radio and bring me to life was playing. Idks but it made me smile. I love when the guy sings, he's the lead singer of 12 stones. "All the time, I can't believe I couldn't see, kept in the dark but you were there in front of me" that was in my mind all day. I feel bad when I think of how I failed today. I shouldn't have. I have to keep myself in that state of mind. Its hard because it isn't me but I just have to... angelboy out

I failed.

Feel likes its been awhile blog, I mean I posted somthing not too long ago here but today's posts were the first in a few days. I thought it was nice of jen to have still gotten up to give me my wake up call even though she's not going to school. (Her tummy hurts) my tests today are small engines and math. Gotta make sure I have mi things. Cough drops, pen, journal, ipod, cell, water and my normal thing to make it go away. Ugh, I hope I don't get full out sick and be a mess on ski club friday. Maybe I shouldn't be listening to this song? Thursday and friday are gonna be cold days. Wait.... no I have intro to power test and math. Wow so I woulda gone to the wrong class O_x. Like ... into math. *tightens grip around the peice* well I think imma head out now. Angelboy out

Fact: I don't like my hair at (all)

Hey blogg, *tightens grip around the broken half of the braclet* I broke it with one hand. The day that I got my hair cut short. I remember... (everything) goodnight everyone. Night little one

Today was a good day blog *smiles*

Morning blog, today is gonna be a long day. =/ I can taste the dry blood in the back of my throat. I wish I had cough drops or something.I relooked at some of pac's stuff last night. Im getting good at not shaking when that chill goes down my spine. I guess one could say im thinking of thinks I shouldn't. We're only one game away from the superbowl, that's ezciting. =]. Father says that if we go and win it that we'll go to the parade in the steel city. Daydreaming..... of. Nvm. I wonder, angelboy out

(imy)

Morning blog, my throat is killong me :/ well i jist got done watchint a few short videos on the new jason movie :). I wish..... But besides that i want it to be friday to able to snowboard again. Fridqy is gonna be the coldest day of this coming week so imma wear like three shirts under my hoodie and jacket. Sounds like alot huh?. But its better than being cold. I wonder......

Kiss my throat? I can already feel that its gonna be bumed =/

Lmao, (yeah im like bipolar =p) last night by diddy brought me into a lighter mood. Goshhh tho, the end of hostel two O_x. Like imma make joe watch one and two and video his reaction to the end of the second one. Its omg. Like girls would laugh? Or maybe not because of how real and bloody..... nvm. Can't give away too much =p. Ong tho, I've scene it mostly all, in saw and freddy, jason, you name the horror movie I've watched it but what happened at the end of hostle two was a first. anywho! Angelboy over and out! =D <3

The empty wave hit me, gosh. Fuck. This hurts. Don't help me though, I can handle this. *shakes it off* that's never fun. I just got done watching hostle part two and it was gross. I guess what went around came around huh? The woman at the end should know. I feel sick. The cold shivers are far past annoying. Goodnight

Bryan here, watching a movie I can't spell lol. Im controling my body's shakes but gosh this isn't cool. It shakes and I wnder where you are. I try to find you im not having much sucess. All I have now is this faith and hope. But that's so much to have gained from where I was a while ago. *holds hand out* angelboy over and out

if i thought i looked gorgeous before, its nothing to what i feel like now. its great. i think imma pretty good looking boy. that cocky? whatever =p. maybe this is what she saw in me always.

Whoaaa =D I feel great.

Gosh blog, jen wasn't kidding. My whole body is sore. I feel like today coulda been one of those days. Makes me (wonder)

Oh, hahahhahahaha, mi brother made the face like he's about to smile and yet cry at the same time. Made me think

Im never alone you said? *nods head* want to know a fact? the only way my brother sleeps if he's sleepiing on top of you. Like he needs to feel you breath and your bodyheat. Reminds me of when I fell asleep and I guess gaby took pictures, angelboy over and out

I blame myself for this, I threw up in the car. Into a bag tho. its kinda funny how emotions can make you do things. That effects your body like this. I can't tell jen and miss out on the ski trip. My head is burned up =(. I wonder if she missed me today. If she thought about me in a good way. I feel so bad. Gotta play solider boy tho. At least for today. Wish me luck

Stayed after school untill 2:48 and now we're on the move to a cheak up on my little brother. I got make up work and went to the math lab during lunch to get help with things I didn't understand. I feel sick. I feel like a drug addict. Its horrible. My head is spinning and my tummy is in knots. The wonders and questions drive me =(. I hope to lose it all tonight. Angelboy over and out

im not as tired as a normal person would be with five hours of sleep? idks i guess five is enough. my body is the one thats tiredish most. muscles feel weak. my stupid mind is strong. i guess imma do my last hw vocab thing and then look at my brother and then heading out for school. angelboy out

Morning blog. Im still so sleepy And its 7:16. I just cant fall asleep well theses days i guess. Typing is getting easyer with this. My mistake ( my ipod). Coulda gotten a ride to school but why? I rather walk. Even in the cold. Its hard to keeping back my questions but im doing better at it. In time..... Ugh didnt i break your hands? *sigh* i wonder if she.... Well i can finish this later, gotta start gathering last second things, like my earphones and a pen. Angelboy over and out

i wish i could lean against a tree and just be okay. claim. collected. (home) oh gosh, its doing it to me. making my eyes water. i wonder how long enough a tear gets heavy enough to roll down my cheek and fall off my chin. things feel so different now. on.... there goes the first one. its almost ten now. i hoped for snow but all i got was ice. my phone has been turned off all day. i wonder if... i once laid in it. just once. saw the blinder that held my notes. it surprised me, the size of it. i believe the color of the binder itself was purple. i can almost feel it, the touch of i focus hard. a touch in my hand. enough of this, about time to wash away the sins of day. i feel like i did when i wrote her the poem. in the grey folder. she thought it was a song though. angel boy out

it amazes me how a bunch of questions could make such a song. i guess my posts from the past two days havent posted. dont think they will either. *sigh* an other day. i wonder what is on her mind this very second. what a "snow day" one without no snow. with rain. but it made alot of ice. this thought, this image wont go away, at least not now. i can make it go away i think. gotta focus on something. never alone..... never..... alone. (ever)

I'd write a zillion words or walk a million miles
I'd sleep on broken glass just not to lose your smiles

Im so cold *shivers* I can hardly feel fingers. Been walking with jon and ty since three but they all left before me. I hoped to see her. (I miss you when im cold) *sigh* whispers.... * baby, i miss you always*

is there one color that can go on her and not look amazing? i honestly dont think so. in science i thought the anxiety was going to cut its way cut and like brust through my chest. i did a good job with things ive been working on but idks i still lost some today. won most, lost a few. im prouf of myself tho for the most part. i miss you most when im happy

Morning blog, this morning iwent into jen's room and I guess she heard me and she said "90 minuite delay" and I just half smiled and said "good morning to you to jen." Now my room is the one that's abnormaly cold. When I asked ty switch car would he take in real life if he could, he picked the 07 shelby. I can control it, she's right but just not in my normall state of mind. I wish that I could know if anyone missed me. And it could be like myspace hits. Like a number would show much many times someone said they missed me in their minds or out loud. I didn't even cheak yet to see the reason behind the delay. I got a new steelers shirt. I like it lottts. It looks old but it isn't. It has harris and then his number. 32. Science is gonna be full of rayne telling me hoe he thinks his chargers are gonna win. Wouldn't wanna look stupid and say we're gonna win so ima just say see you guys on the 11th. And just scream in my head "your wrong rayce! you guys suckkk" or something amoung those lines I guess. Wows, besides the ugly hair I think I look really pretty today. Angelboy over and out

I feel like gorgeous. Its a nice feeling. Gross, ughhhh, I wish I coukd hate that wish, there int a reason I can't either. Like I only went to grade school with her and she didn't even like me then. But I honestly don't think she knew what her telling me what she was could do to me. I don't blame her. As much as I'd want to. Like did she want her to answer yes to her question? Did she want be to do something about it? No thanks. I don't want a part of it. I don't want to be anywhere near it. And I think I've done a good job. It isn't what I want but I have to do what's best for me no? What'l get me through the day wichout twiching for what I have. The sunset today looks amazing, orange, then apink, the light blue, then a lighter pink than before, faded into a purple and then a dark blue and grey. I feel like im going to puke. Goodbye

In the end everyone ends up alone
Losing her, the only one who’s ever known
Who I am, who I’m not, who I want to be
No way to know how long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

Early morning, City breaks
I’ve been calling for years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never send me no letters
You got some kind of nerve, taking all I want

(but i forgive you, you found me)

the next series i need ta get, jason's next after this

Morning blog, this is the lastest I've woken up in a long while 9:20. Im still weak. And my eyes are still a wee bit blury. I had the strangest dream. Like really. You were in it. Reminded me of edward just now. How he lost her once. He's flaut tho. And my dream took place in a mall. I sometimes wish like now that I had jen's room. Its really dark in the morning since the sun always rises in the east. But yet again jen's room is like always super cold so yea. And with all my stuff I think I could fill her room up nicely. Oh damn. Thought this posted. Ohhs and I like doing this now O_X. It looks cool :] im in a good good. Gotta shower up and ughh, gotta do a yucky project *sigh* later folks

Breath bry! Breath! This game and just everything is so like crazy! I feel so alive. But goshhh this won't be good for "my sleeping problem" so well this makes two things I have to get use to. must get back to my deit and being able to sleep before three in the morning. I just can't be going to sleep at three on a school day. I don't want to be like david in science class. Ommggg flag, automatic firstdown =p ohhh my god! 15 year for crazyyyyyy facemask! Imma die! Helllppp me! =p ommgggggg. You can clearly tell the colt players are frustrated but by committing fouls isn't a way get anywhere (at all). Omfgggg! Chargers won! Ahahahahahhahahaha evil laugh =p====ppppp omgggggg. Like I told you little one, an easy walk to the afc champ game =p I so don't think the tony dungy is gonna comeback to coach the colts. And lt is a retard. I hateee him so bad! Lol well maybe not hate but well he's an idoit! This makes the 2nd playoff game he didn't do anything! The short guy number 43 was amazing. Its because of him they won. I wonder so much! Miss me tons? Ughhh I wanna blow up in a good way, or phase into like jacob. Omgggg. This is! Hruinfrhewinbfrei217dg2jiu angelboy out!

Dear blog, my mind is spinning out od control, its just like it spun when I overdosed. This is horrible =( but I can't sleep it off. *sigh*

Darn, had to fork over three bucks. Ryan's green rokkie side showed. But the bolts vs the colts is what matters, one of those two will be who we face next week. This is gonna be a lateeee primetime game. What midnight? But I won't rest untill I know who we face. Aneglboyyy outt =D

I bet father three bucks that falcons will win and right now its lookin good :] they were behind 3 to 14 and now its 17 to 14 at halftime. (I**s*y**)

Read my mind? *l*

I've been listening to the song for a while now, its the song that played in the club in my dream. You got it bad by usher. Hahahahaha ouchhhh. Now I feel like I can take the blade out, look at the person straight in the face and (laugh) im sure it won't last long. Strange feeling this is. Reminds of me something the joker would do . I took two pictures that I guess I like. They reminded me of that summer that I took off my shirt after she left and walked around windsor that way. Ugh, the lyrics. Numbers don't add up. I think the only person that knows what I mean by that is amy. Falcons play kurt warner's cardnails (I sodidnt spell that right) father thinks kurt's team is gonna win cause he's been to the playoff's and won a superbowl with the rams and been in the league for 13 or 14 years. While mat ryan is just a rookie. I hope the facons win. Idk why tho. Oh and the colts face the chargers. That's a no brainer. Colts will kill. We have a bye week, its good for the team but for us fans it sucksss. What's a sunday without your team playing? Its weirddddd. Im in an okay good but there's too many thoughts swimming around in my head. Im never really alone? *nods head* angelboy over and out

She says she (adores) me? I don't know what to say? And the music there playing here is funny for a chinses place

doesn't suck when a band has an awesome beat but they runin it with the vocals? Or does good with it untill the chorus? Or maybe just the chorus is good? Idks. O_o, angelboy out

I'm on the edge and falling off/and I'm sick of feeling numb/Help me believe it's not the real me/Maybe we can turn it around/Cause it's not too late/Its never too late/I'm standing here alone/feeling so stepped on/It wont be long until I'm burning on the inside/I just don't care anymore/And it drags me down/Things are clear/I will not die/We are one. (amazing)

Guess who said this, it shouldnt be hard at all.

my memory reminds me of alice from resident evil. She remembers everything. Maybe mine isn't as good as hers but since I relap everything people say its kinda hard to just forget.I wish I could forget things sometimes tho. I really do. Joe's been going to sleep like I was, three always? I would text her saying I can't fall sleep but I didn't yesterday, afraid that her phone would make a sound and wake her up. Oh, last day to see tyler, I guess I could. Fuck. That one hurt. Bye

Oh..... well this could be a problem. Someone get me a fishing pole, a flashlight and a needle and thread please

Oh god. Whoaa..... "oh god" reminded me of amy. Oh and idk why but I was listening to a backstreetboy tune and well it reminded me when I walked all the way to the top of the logan airport's parking thing and stared at the city before me and thought " I want it, I want it all" oh...... now that reminded of of guess who... *sigh* angelboy over and out

maybe this is what he meant? by being afraid of the things we'd might do if we lost control but also being very (temped) boy oh boy does he have it bad....

Back again I guess, my brother always sleeps on mother's chest. I guess he's use to the movment of her breathing so its easyer for him. Its cute. He like can't sleep for more than an hour in his normal crib. Im leaning against jen's bed. Ohhh snappp! Mi mind is blownnnnn, small world huh? Wtfff. Angelboy outttt

don't worry, i'll turn myself in (promise)

Morning blog, I had well a strange dream last night. Wanna listen? Not like you have much of a choice :] kays well this is what went down, I guess jen and I were at a nightclub and jen was dancing while I was at the bar trying to play the big brother type role, you know, watching over my sister. Jen was having a blast but then a really slow song played (which I thought was strange when I woke upbecause they don't like play slow songs at a club) anywho, yeah they played a slow song and everybody paired up and did the whole couple thing and jen just sorta stood there.... =/ I walked over to her and she huged me and I said, "I know, I know" lets get out of here and she sorta just leaned on my shoulder a tad as we walked out. And of coarse I had my dream car in it which was good. And that was my dream. Father dosent work today. Im glad they don't lell me, too much drama now adays, rather be alone and clueless. Better of that way. And I hope that person dosent have the nevre to tell me what they hear or see. I'll tell that person politely not to tell me if they do. But I do really hope they don't. I talked to joe untill like midnight. Jen and I watched who framed roger rabbit last night too. It was funny :] I haven't scene in in years. I like the way my board looks like. Just six more days and then our first trip, that'll be great. Well imma go see my brother and mi mummy. Angelboy out

*falls over and trys real hard on taking the knife out* dear god, this hurts so much. Gross, kays this song picks things up but still its there. Yucky, can't think like that. Must keep busy, then I won't be eaten alive. Nope, nope, nope. Chin up, that's what I'd tell someone else so I must listen to my own words. Here comes by 2 wish of 09. Woulda been 3rd but I missed my 2nd.I can hear my brother through my wall. Oh, there we go, thanks kahtia. I gotta see life like she does, when I think like her new walls are built its sorta nice. I have a home again when I think like her, and its beautiful like my old one before d day. Or I can think like those two...... but. No, can't question myself. Yeah... that's it. Angelboy over and out

Down bryan, down. Feel like im shoving all the things that will keep the fire alive in wayy to quicky. Just to feel the warmth and see the sight. gotta save some for later. Angelboy out

foolish. I thought It'd make a difference. But it didn't, not the slightest bit. Now I understand. Money or objects can't get someone happyness. Well for some time it might but soon it'll run out and you'll find yourself alone. (Very)

I guess you could say I really hoped the call I got last night at around 1:37 was from you but it wasn't. Angelboy out