last night, jen, richie and i went to chili's at around lets say tenish and she stayed there until the were basically locking up haha. though that was the plan. we ate cheesecake and just talked about life i guess, we said it straight but and shared input and nonetheless, we had a blast. we laughed a lot and that was enough for me. when we left and it was snowing, i just thought "damn, now im screwed" i wanted to take out the truck today. my last day of "vacation" we talked about gas prices and we all felt old and laughed about it. rickie said that he plays 56 now for a full tank while he use to pay 40 and how its kind of rough to drive from enfield to "the refugee camp" (west hardford) im find myself in a better mood now. chris really helped me out the other night. sometimes a friend has a better look on things looking at it from the outside looking in. he's right. and i won't live on like this. i can't.

it's happening again. my hands are shaking,i'm close to tears and this anger, this anger is killing me.

>_< "primita, i miss you!, i love you!, how are you? whats new?" yeah i pretty much have to fight the impulse to say something crazy like that whenever i see our last name i guess. though i would never, that's what instantly comes to mind. the new clutch makes the ride so much better, my god. well reverse is different but that's alright with me. now all she needs is struts and shocks, and lastly, a new coat of paint. keith is asleep. she's at work and today is Saturday. wow. damn. already. i wonder what jenna did on her weekend. i miss her class, its always very interesting. psych. choppy thoughts but at least they're going ^smiles*. hmm well lets see.... i could use a haircut. i think its funny how when joe comes with me somewhere and he is constantly playing pokemon on his ds. its cool in a way i guess. for him, that's enough. and now much you can say about that. i got that line from forrest gump ;p. godd, this will be an awful post. i smell like exhaust, i cant wait for the snow to melt and for the salt and sand to be cleared off the roads. i don't want to use names so lets call "it" john.... john doe. he's been ignoring me lately. he hasn't returned my calls nor texts and i cant think of a reason why. joe and i were having a blast and i called him to see if he cared to join us and i got zero, zip, nada. +_x my lotto ticket came this close *pintches two fingers together* to being washed in my pants from yesterday. yeah i guess the lotto is kind of lame but hey you never know. i could be sitting on my bed plotting how to off myself or something one night and tomorrow i could be on in hammock in a hawaiian shirt sipping some fruity drink from a coconut with one of those cute little umbrellas. you never know, nope never. i wouldnt hesitate to bring joe with me wherever. he could be kimosabe and i could be the lone ranger xD lol. but i digress. i know that all of you, if any of you, whoever you could possibly be is okay. angelboy out

*sigh* so my clutch decided to give up me today, and that'll sure put a pent in my pocket. she had to get towed but mi tio let me use his truck and with that i saved the day and joe and i went everywhere. we did. its strange, every time that i pulled into somewhere, i would always reach for the shifter to put it into first. haha, father and tio menny said they do the same all the time. guess thats what mustangs will do to ya. well standard in general. i'm honestly not feeling alright so maybe i'll just decide to keep "writing" until it subsides but i know it wont. it didn't last night... nor the night before. today i thought she was on and say it. or at least i thought i did. you only see what you want to see. sometimes, not always, not necessarily. i need question. thought. something to run after. i wonder if this is what wally feels like when shes wally and not flash. does he feel like he's standing still when hes not running over water? tearing through land. does he just want to go, go, go? that reminds me of when i went over to gaby's table and she showed me where he took a bullet and died for someone, for someone he loved. of course. but thats all besides the point. we flashes don't live long, we live fast. theres thirty three people on the facebook chat, but not a soul to talk to. there 56 people in my contact list but no one to confide in. jen made joe and i smoothies. they were really good, i had a pina colata one (no alcohol, for i was the one driving) and joe took a strawberry and better yet... they were on the house. i love my sister. i really do.


"Another part with the same kids, another night with the same drinks
I need to find myself a new chick
I need to kiss a set of new lips

She's gotta be something new to me
Fresh face, someone new to please
So come on, come on girl, just you and me"

you. have. not the slightest idea.
damn, i think i might start to change he comics that i have up on display on my push board. i need something new to look at. variety. that doesn't look right. my left hand smells like gasoline and theres blood on my right. but dont worry. nosebleed. mhm, gross i know but im just in one of those moods i guess. oh look hey... my phone made the text sound but im sure that it isnt from a "friend" of mine. but hey let me check it out, i'll be right back. promise!. oh sweet. chris is on now. thank god. casey, crash into me. i care way, way (too much) <3 i hope that everything is going alright in your life, friend. and if not, i hope that things will clear up and fall into their places soon enough. angelboy, over and out

more stable and does have a better posture that i, but better... i think not.

beautiful, powerful and heart wrenching