what happened to the rest of my post? *sigh* please don't feel abandon, i need time to reenforce things in meself, to create things that werent even there in the first place and to do this i need something, time. this wont be easy, i already know but i need this, to be better. maybe in the long run it'll count, that i did this now. i'll need to be able to endure and survive. and not just live as in just be "alive", to drag along in time. i wanna live with the poundering in my chest meaning something. he isnt going to heal noah =(. i'll always be three. i wish, angelboy over and out